Resident wordsmith Paul Goodman offered this as a poetic summary of the Grammarian role. Spot the deliberate errors in the first line*
I would of thought, while I was sat
And other solecisms that
Should only meet with disapproval
Will be picked out for their removal
By the speaker who’s transgressed
So that, in time, what is expressed
Is flawless (as in precious jewels)
At least per English grammar’s rules.
Conversely, one seeks out the phrase
Which merits some degree of praise
Perhaps because the words deployed
Arouse emotions (see S Freud).
Or, by drawing on techniques
Developed by the ancient Greeks:
(To name but two from many more).
The challenge is to earn a grade
Equating to an accolade
And this is what the goal must be:
A speech of five star quality.
© Paul Goodman
*You spotted it! “Would’ve” is the correct contraction for “would have” and “sat” is in the wrong tense.